Month: January 2019

  • Ya Think? On Sexual Promiscuity

    Sometimes people, including myself, do the stupidest things, things that leave me with only one thing to say: ya think? Welcome to a new series where I expound upon what causes me to utter this phrase in response to some of the crazy things I and others do in this weird and wacky world of ours.

    Disclaimer: we all make mistakes and no one person is better than anybody else. I myself have made many in my lifetime and in no way does this post imply or attempt to imply that I have been, am, or ever will be better than the people or situations discussed herein. So with that out of the way, welcome to “Ya Think?”.

    Sexual promiscuity is very prevalent in our society today; I myself am ashamed to admit even I have fallen into this very black area in the past. So it’s no surprise that my first post n this series is on this topic. Our story starts when I got picked up by a new Uber driver last week. She seemed like a fairly nice young woman, even sharing many of the same beliefs, opinions and life values that I have. She offered her hand in friendship, to borrow the colloquialism, and I took it, and the phone number that went along with it. We texted for a few days after my first Uber trip with her and she picked me up a few more times without the aid of the Uber app, saving me a bit of money on what would have otherwise been several trips. But then she began to get a little distant and admitted she had a lot on her mind. Wanting to do the right thing, I left her alone for a few days, until today, that is.

    She texted me earlier today to let me know she was finally ready to talk about what had been on her mind, if I still wanted to know what was up, and I accepted because I cared about her and was curious to know what was going on. As a nursing student (why do I always seem to get tangled up with pretty nurses?) she seemed very intelligent and, while I didn’t know her very well, I was pleased that she had decided to be vulnerable with me and open up about whatever was on her mind. But this is where things get interesting.

    To protect her privacy I won’t divulge exactly what went on, but basically she admitted she had been trying for several years to achieve something with the man she was in a relationship with, but hadn’t been having any luck. So, recently she started seeing a new man after complications with the relationship I mentioned, and due to circumstances that had cropped up within the past week or so she was very worried that she had achieved what she wanted…but at the wrong time and under the wrong circumstances. In other words, she was worried that her (seemingly harmless) “fooling around” (so to speak) hadn’t been so harmless after all.

    Fortunately, the situation resolved itself in that what she feared had happened hadn’t actually happened, but the whole situation still left me pondering. While I don’t know her life story, don’t know the big picture, and don’t know any more of her mind than what she allowed me to access, it’s safe to say that when you play with fire, you might get burned. In this case, she chose to begin seeing someone else whilst in the midst of complications in her established relationship, and (in her words) “went too far” but was still hoping not to see any consequences, then wondered why consequences were possibly on the horizon.

    Ya think?

    Again, I don’t know the full situation nor do I know her other circumstances, and I am glad that things did not go the way she feared they might, but at the same time, I have to wonder what would have happened if a little thought was placed into her actions before they were performed. That’ll probably be the moral of many of the posts in this series, and it’s a good one we all need to learn. Consequences can most easily be avoided by simply refraining from participating in things we know we shouldn’t — in this case, fooling around with someone, going a little too far, and hoping nothing would come of it. Now, again, I’m no better, as I’ve certainly thought I could get away with things in my life, and sometimes I have but other times I haven’t. The bottom line is that what we do, what we say, how we behave, and the choices we make are extremely important, not only because they affect the outcome of our life, but because they can (and very often do) affect others as well, and are usually (but not always) born out of the circumstances in which we currently find ourselves. And when we do make mistakes and consequences come, it’s a great time to take stock of what’s happened, realize we can’t change the past, and then do all we can to learn from our mistakes so that we can change our future — for the better.

    And don’t forget God’s role in all of this either. He is a loving and merciful God whose grace is sufficient for all of us and whose forgiveness knows no bounds. He doesn’t want us to fall but instead wants to help us live better lives, looking to him for guidance and following the model for living that he sets out in his Word. God says that when we come to him and confess things we’ve done, those choices we’ve made that may not have been the best, he is faithful and just and will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Even in times when we may say “ya think?” as we look back on things we’ve done, there’s still hope and a better future. God can also help us refrain from judging others for their actions, from all the “ya think?” moments that may come up as we watch others live their lives. This is a great lesson for me to learn as I am sometimes quick to judge others for not simply thinking about what they do before choosing to do it, even when I am very guilty of that myself.

    “Seek the Lord while he makes himself available; call to him while he is nearby! The wicked need to abandon their lifestyle and sinful people their plans. They should return to the Lord , and he will show mercy to them, and to their God, for he will freely forgive them.”
    — Isaiah 55:6-7 NET

    There’s also a lesson to be learned here about relationships and all that, but that’s a topic for a different day.

    Well, I hope you enjoyed the first post in the “Ya Think?” series. Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts or with something crazy you want me to feature in the next post. Remember to show God’s love and kindness to everyone you meet along the way of life, even those to whom you might want to say, “ya think?”. After all, they’re only human just like we are and showing them love and kindness is just as important as when God showed it to us. To help with that, I’ll leave this little gem right here at the bottom of this post. Until next time!